Sex Instructional Videos – Watch and Learn!

Although it’s evident that people nowadays are educated in the matter of sex, there are still those who need a little bit of help in that department. Whether you’re just starting out to become sexually active, or you’re in a relationship with a dwindling sex life, sex instructional videos may just be the thing you need. Sex can become quite a sensual and pleasurable activity, as long as you know exactly what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Let sex instructional videos teach you a thing or two, and who knows? You might just discover as whole new side to you.

Sex instructional videos are great as it can help you spice up your bedroom routine with your lover. With different tips and techniques that you can learn from these videos, you’ll be able to become a better sexual partner. These videos can also help you let go of your inhibitions and your partner’s as well and teach you to be more confident in your own skin, no matter what body type you have. And because it’s highly recommended that you watch sex instructional videos with your lover, it can also possibly help strengthen the relationship.

You may be thinking, what makes sex instructional vids any different from porn videos? Though both videos will show people having sexual intercourse, you’ll actually learn something from instructional videos as it usually includes a narrative or a step by step guide. Whereas sex instructional videos aim to give you a better understanding of your body and how you can work it during sex, porn on the other hand will just show people having sex. If you think that sex is just like what you’ve seen on porn movies, you’ll be surprised to know that there is more to it than just the act itself. There’s foreplay, there’s romance and there are techniques that can help you make the whole act a mind blowing experience.

If you’re interested to know how you can your hands on sex instructional videos, you have a few choices. Depending on where you live and how your culture perceives sex, you might find it really easy or a bit challenging to acquire these videos. If you have an adult bookstore or a sex shop in your community, you can start your search there. You can also check stores that sell movies and DVDs and look for the adult section.

You can also look for online sites that sell sex instructional vids if you want to shop in the comforts of your own home. Although you’ll find a wide selection of different titles and types online, do take your time in choosing a video for you. Make sure that you check the production company and the description thoroughly if you don’t want to end up with cheap porn that was packaged as an instructional video. Look up reviews on which titles would be best suited for you. Don’t forget to ask your lover’s opinion on which titles to get so that you can come to a mutual agreement on what type of instructional video would best benefit you both.

Science Supports the Need for Casual Sex Flirting

Casual sex movies make it all seem so easy. Two people meet up at a bar, share a quick drink, and then are seen passionately bouncing off hallway walls as they try to get each other’s clothes off. But is it really all so simple? And if it is, then why aren’t all bar room hallways bursting at the seams with horny hookups? The answer is…they’re not and the science behind attraction and a woman’s desire for casual sex gives a little insight into why.

In several studies, the original one conducted in 1989 and a follow-up one conducted more recently, both men and women were asked if they would have casual sex with a platonic friend – a friends with benefits arrangement – or if they would have casual sex with a complete stranger. In both studies it showed that men were more likely to agree to a quickie than their female counterpart. So if you are a man and want to get a more favorable response to the question, “Will you go to bed with me?” there are few basic things that you need to understand about the women who are most likely to say yes.

Whether you meet a potential partner through an adult online dating site, through a friend, or in a pub, the basics of getting that person to agree to a one night stand or no strings attached relationship include a little flirting. Yes, even with casual sex you need a little flirting.

Science has suggested two theories explaining what women look for. The first theory reaches back to our caveman roots and the evolutionary reasons for having sex – survival of the species. In this explanation the woman needs to be choosy about their hook up mate since they expect them to stick around to help change diapers and buy formula. They want a man they can depend on.

The second theory is one that we can better get our minds around when talking about casual sex and that is the Pleasure Theory. We are all hardwired to pursue pleasure. This is the type of wiring that you guys need to stand up and take notice of. Yes, woman will be more likely to say yes to a casual relationship when they perceive that they are going to get a little pleasure from it…or more likely, a lot of pleasure. Women want to orgasm and they will be more willing to give it a shot with a guy (or girl) that is likely to provide it.

So let’s put the two theories together and create a better mousetrap. Guys, if you want casual sex then you need to convince a woman that they can depend on you to give them an orgasm!

How is this done? Well, to discover that you may just want to follow me and get some advice on some good old fashioned flirting and seduction. That is something that never goes out of style no matter if it’s casual sex or true love sex that you are after.

Vintage Adult Comics

As how they are obviously referred to, vintage adult comics are a reflection of ancient era or golden times. These are comics released in the 13th and 14th century and these days, they are difficult to get hold of. Other collectors aren’t just limiting themselves to the 1940-50′s collections, though. They follow until the 1970 releases of these comics.

Hundreds of comics were circulated in the golden age of magazines and literature. These materials were published using old kinds of papers. Vintage, as we hear of it, sounds valuable and rare. And yes, it definitely is rare to find some collections of books, magazines, comics or anything done five to seven decades ago.

The young adolescent and adult groups have let loose their inhibitions of browsing over these vintage adult comics that flaunt boldness, sexiness, sophistication and seventh heaven. The erotic side of life is presented in its creatively enticing manner through sexy pictures of women and passionate scenarios of couples in love and lust. There is no denying that men are continuous followers of these kinds of readable stuff. Sensual women are even getting open-minded to explore the so-called hobby but rarely do they declare such actuation.

As vintage comics like Batman, Flash Gordon, Superman, Green Lantern and Spiderman gained popularity back then, the emergence of vintage adult comics followed through their successes. Instead of heroic and funny themes, love and passion are usual concepts of the adult category of magazines and comics, that’s why they are for adults only. Thought not many people recognize it, comics are a serious business, too, just like movies, bars, Internet porn, among others.

Since the 1970′s, the worth of vintage adult comics has consistently multiplied due to their huge demand from investors and collectors. If you collect any of these vintage stuffs, you are likely to earn a good bit of dollars as they are usually appraised as valuable. It seems like a standard notion that if you own something vintage, you can benefit largely.

The approach employed in vintage adult comics is dependent on culture and lifestyle of a certain country it is being released. There are those that are too erotic that may not be appreciated by some. Basically, they’re identified to be of European, Japanese and American themes.

Vintage adult comics are usually of erotic conceptions and graphics, sometimes identified as artistic outputs of pornography. The sexuality of both men and women in the same setting is depicted as real as it can be to educate and stimulate the senses of the readers. Sensuality in a human being is but normal as long as it is done within grounds of matrimony. However, the world has accepted reality that bites, thus there isn’t any critical judgment aimed to those enjoying the art of making love out of marriage.

Spice Up Your Relationship With Your Man With Erotic Adult Lingerie

Sometimes, life gets too mundane that you realize that it has become more of a routine than an excitement. There may be many reasons for this, the primary one being work responsibilities that tend to take away most of your time each day. Thus you end up not being able to spend time with your loved ones as much as you would like to, and this could have dire consequences, especially when you realize that you are not spending much time with the man that you love.

Women especially try too hard to beautify themselves with external items such as lipstick, mascara and even perfume, but what they fail to realize is that the choice of undergarments play a great part in one’s life as well. Wearing the right selections of undergarments, especially lingerie would successfully transform your life into one that is less mundane and more exciting almost instantly. And this would definitely be recommended for women that struggle to keep their love lives in check as they spend too much of time away from home.

Spicing up your relationship could be accomplished by opting to wear erotic adult lingerie that would make your partner go crazy over you almost immediately. Make yourself look and feel beautiful with these adult lingerie items, and these lingerie items would also help extensively in boosting the your confidence, especially in your love life. You would find lingerie items that are suitable for adults in all types of sizes and shapes, thus you have plenty of choices to pick and select from when you are in need of lingerie. Regardless of whether you are a plus-sized woman, or one that is ultra-skinny, rest assured that there are appealing undergarments out there to suit your requirements. Designs and cuts are also available in various types, thus scout around for those that suit your personality and preferences before you purchase them.

There are selections of lingerie that stick to your body completely, while some of the silk variants tend to fall over your body comfortably in a classy and elegant manner. Some match almost every dress out there, while others need to be used with specific tops or dresses only or they would look out of place. Matching the right lingerie with the clothes that you wear on the outside is a skill that you should master if you are planning to spice up your relationship with the man that you love.

Remember that lingerie should look good on you, and not look trampy. Some underwear selections do actually make you look trampy, thus these items should be avoided unless you are planning to tease your man with naughty undergarments. Once you start wearing adult lingerie, learn to carry it with the right amount of poise and confidence that is required. Being shy or uncomfortable in the lingerie that you wear would probably making things awkward between you and your partner. Thus ensure that you choose the right material, design and color of lingerie before you put them on to impress your partner! If you have a figure that should be flaunted, nothing could help you accomplish this better than the right collection of adult lingerie!

Erotic Vacations – Whole New Level of All Inclusive Holidays

The Caribbean is the favorite destination for revelers who would like to have a Erotic Vacation filled with romance, orgies and one night stands without any strings attached. The Dominican Republic is well known point where students, young girls and youth throng to ease their libidos without any fear or restrictions. The cool and serene surroundings with nature make the place an ideal locale to reenact the Adam and Eve episode of biting the forbidden fruit.

The Caribbean is best known for its natural beauty and of late for its Erotic Vacation which opens a platform for like minded individuals to share a few months of fun and pleasure without the social stigma and strings attached with it as seen in any normal relationship. Interestingly both women and men are thronging to the islands for an opportunity to relive their fantasies. It is not limited to men only. The women have also been coming in large numbers to relive their fantasies. Also it’s a very good method of reinvigorating the sexual relationship between couples who have drifted apart from one another due to the complexities of modern life.

There are many instances where the beauty and solitude of the island has healed the relationships which were estranged due to a multitude of causes. You can also interact with the local population who are very friendly and it is fun to have them in your company. For most tourists who opt for a Erotic Vacation, the interactions with the local girls who are already experienced in this type of intimacy do not cause any complications.

The relaxed laws and culture of the Caribbean make it an ideal place for both short and long term relationships. Couple who want to be intimate with one another can freely express their emotions without any fear of rebuke or hindrance. It’s a chance for the couple to enact the closeness they seek without any limitations or infringement. The frankness to the idea of intimacy has fascinated and attracted tourists to this country for many years. Couples who look for a distinctive type of closeness can easily acquire this in adult themed resorts in the Dominican Republic which offers such Sex Vacations.

While there are hundreds of resorts to opt from in the Dominican Republic, couples can also prefer to be part of different adult cruises in the country. This type of convenience will provide the couple with an exclusive blend of closeness and a breath taking and exciting activity. Tourists will not just hang about in the cruise to enjoy their travel companion but will also visit a variety of islands and resorts in the Dominican Republic. You can live your wildest fantasies in the cool comfort of your Erotic Vacation resort staying up all night with a choice of partners who also share your beliefs and come to live their fantasies.

The resorts rendering Erotic Vacation don’t take chances when it comes to authentic erotic experiences. Tourists and visitors love it and in fact, because of the solitude offered by adult resorts, they can have their carnal desires fulfilled practically anywhere.

Tips in Successful Erotic Dating With Sexy Girls

Quite a few guys had been attracted to hot girls for their hypnotizing beauty. World-wide-web is just one in the easiest resources to search anything. Now this has become the shortcut to many males for exploring a potential wife. Attractive ladies are incredibly unusual with adorable character. This became an ad-on for them.

Attractive ladies are beneficial at decorating homes extraordinarily. To get the attention of sexy women, western guys ought to do a great deal of factors. Culture and other beliefs make the distinction for erotic dating in hot women. If you desire to persuade sexy women through on-line erotic dating, you’ve got to follow certain pointers for the effective erotic dating. Difference in culture and trends.

The very first essential thing to recognize is that attractive girls are from several environments, lifestyles and trends. For the first day with enthralling women, you could have to be open-minded and enthusiastic to find out new things. Many men think of winning girls love with funds. But this can be incorrect with respect to alluring women. It really is essential to investigate the desires and expectations from the girl you would like to date with. Grooming, most girls have been attracted by well-groomed, neat and well-dressed adult men. That is the exact same with sexy women. They had been being loved and attracted by well-groomed adult men.

Create a good feeling Most on the ladies really enjoy to have gifts and affection while proposing. According to attractive lifestyle, attractive girls are supposed to bind in adore of a man who shows signs of excellent adoration. Expectations of alluring ladies involve men to become wine and dine; also men shouldn’t start without having having correct plan on typical basis. This means that adult males ought to be aware on the fact that with no maintaining a relationship throughout the life, its waste of fixing to dates and giving presentations.

The essential point would be to make an excellent relation and be real to produce an impression. Study the language It is extremely challenging to communicate though erotic dating having a hot girl due towards the language dilemma. Both will have a fantastic confusion caused by two languages. This can be 1 from the barriers that ought to be broken by males. enthralling ladies work tough in learning English to impress adult men. It would be very good and impressive to study sexy for sexy women. This also depicts your personality which you are trying to study the lifestyle and traditions for your possible wife. It truly is also significant to search the spam less websites though researching for a day with enthralling girls. Web is a single of the resources which give beneficial outcomes for browsing a sexy partner.

A trustworthy web page will probably be helpful for meeting credible alluring women which are waiting to get a chance to enjoy. Males typically want to have communication prior to getting started to day. That is provided by quite a few internet sites. By knowing the requirements of the people, a lot of other internet websites are even generating money by means of spam and fraud data. So, be very careful although selecting a internet site. At the same time, there are many stories of adult men getting a effective day over the world wide web. Be matured in acquiring your really like for any prosperous erotic dating. In addition to this, many males do not apologize for finding a attractive girl on the net and possess a date with great relationship.

Bondara – The Best Online Store For Your Sex Toy Purchases

When speaking of sex toys and aids, there might be a good shop near you. However, when it comes to the huge selection and efficiency of the products, there is only one best name. That is one of UK’s most successful online sotres, which is Bondara..

As we know, different ages and sexes have different needs when it comes to sex toys. The good news is that Bondara knows well about this. This is the reason why the range of their products are awesome from vibrators, dildos, male and women sex toys, sexy lingerie, bondage gears, anal toys to sex gears. Actually, the collection of products in this local store has come out to be over a million already.

Why Go For Bondara

Besides the convenience in shopping that Bondara provides, there are a lot of other great benefits that this shop offers. Just like other online stores, you can take advantage of great discounts and price slash offs from the items that you want simply by using a Bondara offer code, Bondara discount codes or the promotional code that you can get from money-off vouchers for Bondara. Here, check out these great offers Bondara has in store for you:

Delivery. One of the best reasons as to why you need to stay with Bondara is their way of delivery. For one, they have low shipping rates and can even offer free delivery service if you order reach up to 39.99 Euros. What’s more, this online shop is very discreet about the client’s privacy. The package you will receive will not contain any logo of Sex products. Indeed, talking about affordability and privacy, Bondara has it both to offer you. Much more, they have a same day shipping policy.

Reputation. This online shop is indeed a trusted online company that undergoes monitoring from SafeBuy. With this, you can have peace of mind when doing your shopping here.

Billing. The good news about this shop is that even in your bills, they still think about your privacy. Actually, you will see the name Nagook Ltd reflecting on your credit card or bank account statement rather than Bondara.

With all these, you can leave your doubts about trusting Bondara for your purchase of sex toys and aids. Indeed, if you try to shop here, there are a lot more great things you can discover from this shop.

Where To Get Discounts

What is amazing about Bondara is that they offer cheap sex toys for different needs. The website has a section dedicated to the cheapest of all their products in the market. Imagine, their bestsellers such as the Ultimate Jessica Rabbit Waver, MasterB Vibro-Cate Harrington, and Purple Pearl Rabbit Vibrator can all be purchased in less than 40 Euros.

Moreover, at a regular basis, there are Bondara offer code, money off vouchers for Bondara, Bondara UK discount code that you can make the best use of. To get any kind of Bondara offer code, what you only need to do is become a member of the company. Then, you can receive great discounts to all of your future purchases in the site. If you provide your email, you can always receive the shop’s newsletter containing special Bondara UK discount codes. You can also get these Bondara offer code, money off vouchers for Bondara, Bondara UK discount code by searching them in the Internet.

Indeed, what else can you be looking for in a sex toy shop? With the wide selections, convenience, affordability, and privacy they promise, everything you need is already in here.

The Vicious Cycle of Adult ADD, Shame, and Sexual Compulsion

Brian is an investment banker in his early forties who, in graduate business school, first began to visit prostitutes, spend money on phone sex, compulsively masturbate and, finally spend as much as 5-10 hours a day looking at internet porn. When sexually acting out, he would feel that someone had turned on his brain for the first time. On the net, he would suddenly feel alive. He had energy and felt the euphoria that sexual immersion seductively provides. His mind slowed down; he didn’t need to keep moving.

Since his teens, he had masturbated nearly every night before going to sleep and sometimes once or twice during the day as well. He was shy in school and dated infrequently, partly from his feelings of inadequacy from the persistent inability to concentrate, multiple failures, disapproval from parents, teachers and peers and the consequent demoralization that contributed to low self-esteem.

Undergraduate school had been difficult for him. Complex mathematical formulations from his economics courses were tape-recorded while he fantasized about looking under the girl’s shirt who sat next to him. He was chronically late at classes, his dorm was messy and his clothes were disheveled. He seemed to live in another world. Once on the job, he loved the thrill, excitement and risk of being a trader, but when he had to sit in boardrooms to listen to his bosses talk about strategy, his “eyes glazed over” with boredom and he entered into an “erotic haze”. He would fantasize about the escort he had been with the night before and anticipated getting home after a long day to get on the chat rooms and look at pornography on the internet.

His days were the usual business of forgetting assignments and people’s names, of losing things and being chastised by bosses, as he had been by parents, for not being able to sit still or follow directions. At home, he felt empty, depressed and lonely. He was unable to focus on a book or a movie. He often felt different than others. It was as though others were given a chip at birth that allowed them to remember simple things, to process information accurately, to complete tasks in an orderly fashion, to moderate their impulses and calm their bodies and mind when they wanted to. But Brian knew he was “different” from them. His girlfriend complained that he interrupted their conversations and that he always put his needs first from; He could never finish a task that wasn’t engrossing for him. He would lose his temper over trivial things and he didn’t know why. On the internet, however, looking at a montage of erotic images, he finally felt not scattered. Moreover, he felt soothed, whole and unafraid. Like a magic elixir, he would immediately feel “not different”. He felt alert, focused and alive. However, he soon found himself in job performance because of the long nights and weekends of compulsive sexing. He went to a 12-step “S” program and learned to stay away from compulsive sex. He married and got a promotion at work. Time passed as he worked his 12-step program and settled in to marriage. However, the impulse to call an escort or make an erotic phone call never went away.

One day, after two years of abstinence, he ran across an escort in a hotel who offered him her services and he could not think of a reason to refrain. Also, he had realized that his fantasies had taken on a distinct sadomasochist flavor and he had been curious about acting them out with this woman. He had been involved in a deal at work that went wrong and he felt “less than” and somewhat ashamed. Memories of shaming and humiliating remarks about his conduct and learning skills from teachers and parents came flooding back, precipitating his masochistic sexual fantasies. His sense of self was completely destabilized. So he did what had always worked for him when he felt psychologically fragmented: he went to an escort to shore up his fragile self esteem. Once again he would miraculously feel like he could live with himself. The non-stop put downs that had taken up permanent residence in his head were quieted, at least for a short period of time. Sex took the edge off like a few martinis do for an alcoholic.

The “quick fix” however, was followed by a crash which made him feel worse than he did before he went to the escort. Knowing he had once again lost control of himself, he would feel extremely remorseful and depressed. His feelings about himself bordered on self-loathing. After the crash, he no longer felt alert, focused, or euphoric. While Brian had been able to walk away from cocaine three years ago, the sex addiction had remained entrenched in his psyche: like an athlete’s foot of the mind — it called him — incessantly– an itch to be scratched but never soothed.

It was at this point that Brian decided that if he didn’t leave the house, he would not frequent escorts, and so he re-discovered the Internet. In no time at all, Vincent was spending untold minutes, hours, days totally absorbed in the internet, using chat rooms to set up erotic encounters, and exploring the fetishistic and S&M images and enticements of the cybersex world. Porn surfing became his medium of acting out because the images were flashy, intense, and risky and he could easily go to another web page when the novelty wore off and he would start to be bored.

What happened with Brian’s recovery? He seemed to have managed to avoid compulsive sex for a period of time and to make some positive changes in his life. But when faced with the opportunity, he was easily led to return to sex addiction.

In Brian’s case, he was not able to get a handle on his sex addiction because he had not been diagnosed and treated for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. A particular constellation of imbalanced neurotransmitters were creating physical and emotional problems for him, including an inability to regulate attention, control impulses, sleeping, and mood and energy levels. His need to self-medicate his impulsivity, restlessness and mental hyperactivity gave way to using sexually compulsive behaviors to try to fix his brain chemistry. Poor impulse control combined with a drive for high-risk, intense, novel experiences contributed to Brian’s addiction to sex.

Many sexual compulsives with ADD have had experiences like Brian’s. They struggled in school because they got bored or had a hard time paying attention. Once bored, they would stare out the window, often caught up by sexual fantasies. As adults, relationships are difficult for them. Impulses carry them from project to project, relationship to relationship, job to job. Their minds come screeching to a halt as they try to remember a friend’s name or the location of the escort they visited last night. Most feel the self-loathing of people who are working under capacity, and experience the pain and grief of living a life of lost opportunities and diminished personal potential.

Deregulation and Deprivation

Deregulation and impulsiveness are the hallmarks of ADD, as well as the hallmark of sex addiction. Unable to set boundaries on their own behavior, ADDers feel an intense need to continue forever whether it is on a work project or an involvement in a sexual enactment. One definition of compulsion may very well be “a loss of control characterized by an intense desire to continue despite adverse consequences.”

A sense of deprivation then emerges when compulsive sexualizing does not provide the gratification and satisfaction that results from having the experience of natural pleasure as it relates to intimacy with another human being. Rather than sex being a way to bring two people closer, sexual enactments for the ADDer can stem from intra-psychic conflict, from a narcissistic need for validation not received in his child’s ADD world, and as a way to medicate the physiological symptoms of brain chemistry deregulation. The result is that sex takes up a disproportionately large place in his psychic equilibrium. His very sense of self depends on his sexuality.

Deprivation is not a feeling that is comfortable for the ADD/sex addict. He is a bottomless pit of needs, always looking ahead and never feeling satisfied. The simpler pleasures of life are too mild. Risky, novel, intense and mysterious experiences such as those provided by Internet porn match his voracious appetite. Sex with a spouse seems banal. Marriages are ruined. Unfortunately, trying to feed the monster of endless needs makes the need grow larger and more insistent so the ADD/sex addict sets a vicious cycle in motion. Despite endless hours looking at cybersex, no amount is ever enough. Sex addicts/cybersex addicts are rarely sated and live daily with a sense of unsatisfied longing.

Mood and Emotion

There are problems with mood and emotion regulation and stabilization in ADD and sex addicts. ADD/sex addicts often say they live on emotional roller coasters – the need for risk and intensity in life and in sexuality is ever-present. For the ADDer, feeling states fluctuate with extreme alterations in the highs and lows over hour or even minutes. Maintaining emotions on an even keel is an intricate process involving fine adjustments by different parts of the brain and nervous system. Since setbacks throw ADDers off balance easily, they may try to adjust their instability with a sex/internet binge to balance mood and brain chemistry. The release of endorphins and dopamine from sex temporarily settles the physical, emotional and biochemical roller-coaster that many ADDers experience on a daily basis.

Distractibility

The ADD mind drifts hither and yon. It daydreams, wanders and drifts among loosely and tenuously connected thoughts, often moving to sexual fantasies that quell its restless energy. This is the famous “distractibility” of ADD. An ADDer might engage in sexual fantasies when he should be working. The radio in the ADD brain seems to have a malfunctioning scan button that won’t let him switch channels efficiently. The sex addict’s solution is to stay tuned to one channel only and it is usually sexual fantasy to which the channel is set. Once he’s in his compulsive, rigid focus, it’s hard for him to turn off the scan button to redirect. Hence, distractibility is not the only problem; ADDers can also have problems with hyper focusing, or over focusing. Once the person’s attention is captured, he can stay engaged with what he’s doing almost endlessly. Some may not be able to pay attention; ADD sexual compulsives usually can’t stop paying attention. Hours and hours go by, chores don’t get done, children and spouse are neglected, books go unread, the glory of the sound of music is muted. This type of erotic hyper attention can also take its toll in exhaustion, fatigue, and sometimes failing health.

The over- persistence of the sexual compulsive can make switching gears out of the “erotic haze” very difficult. Although this type of self-absorption makes productive/creative work and interpersonal relationships impossible, refocusing is painful. Going from one task that involves excitement, risk, mystery, intensity, soothing and escape is excruciating when taking out the garbage or paying the bills is called for.

Another factor that contributes to sexual addiction for ADDers is that many people with ADD have defective sensory filters that make them experience the world as a barrage to the senses — noises, sights and smells rush in without barriers or protection. When you live with ADD, you may be constantly bombarded with input that others may not even notice. This assault on the senses often creates feelings of intense anxiety and irritation that can trigger sexual acting out. The comfort of the “erotic haze” on the internet or the soothing experience with an escort can ameliorate these incessant barrages of sensory stimuli to the ADD brain.

Impaired Social Skills

Some ADDers have experienced the negative impact of ADD on social adjustment. Many are shy and were not particularly popular in school, especially if learning disabilities have been in the picture. Social ostracizetion has been part of the childhood of many ADDers. As adults, many ADDers have to work very hard to interact effectively in social and work situations. The development of social skills is more an art than a science because we must learn to read the ever-changing reactions of others. If deficient selective attention interferes with paying attention to social cues in order to listen and respond emphatically, the ADDer may feel extremely ill at ease. How much easier to go to a chat room to enter into an eroticized communication where sexuality can be used as a surrogate for real social interactions.

Shame

Many ADD children grew up in families in which put-downs, disapproval, personal attacks and threats of abandonment were commonplace events. Punishment and frustration from teachers and taunts from peer groups added to a sense of worthlessness. As an adult, the ADD child judges himself mercilessly and often tries to be perfect in a desperate attempt to shield his shame. He feels deeply ashamed of being “different” due to ADD as well as of being a sexual compulsive – a “deviant”, if he becomes one. Chronic, relentless shame is devastating. Mired in feelings of worthlessness, defectiveness and despair, he is full of doubt about his very validity.

Shame and sex addiction are natural partners. The more intense the pain of self-hatred, the stronger the drive to find a sexual behavior that offers relief from internal pain and emptiness. For the sex addict, the answer to his inner problems lay outside himself in the “magic” of sexual desire, for or from, another. He confuses sexual desirability with self-acceptance. He is trying to fill the void that has been at least partially created by shame. He simply cannot bear feeling empty inside.

ADD temper problems or problems with rage may also stem from this chronic shame. A rageful person is desperate to keep others far enough away so they won’t see his sense of defectiveness. A shamed person can only think to defend himself from real or imagined attacks by cruelly attacking the other person. And rage works. It drives people away and so protects the person from revealing his shame. But this device of using rage to keep people away is very damaging to a person’s self-esteem. Rage breaks the connection between people and so increases the shamed person’s shame. A rage/shame spiral can result. Social isolation lends itself to engrossment in sexual fantasy as a way to ameliorate loneliness.

The person who is shame-based sees himself as deeply and permanently flawed. He “knows” he is not like other persons. He “knows” he is different. He “knows” he is so bad he is beyond repair. He “knows” he will never be able to join others in a world of productivity, balance, self-respect and pride.

Shame and Perverse Sexuality

An early-life sense of shame for being “different” and fear of abandonment can influence the sexual development of an ADD child. Parents who may have been unstable themselves and who had no knowledge of the special needs of an ADD child, may create a shame-based home environment. The messages that the ADD child who has chronic behavior problems, hyperactivity, aggressiveness and learning disabilities receives at home may include:

You are not good;
You are not good enough;
You don’t belong;
You are deficient and disappoint us.
You are not worthy of love.

Shame and sexuality become closely connected. Children shamed early in life may become sexually compulsive or develop perverse fantasies as a way to feel better about themselves. Fetishism may occur. Sadomasochistic fantasies and enactments may become paramount. Exhibitionism may be developed and acted on.

Exhibitionism can easily be a chosen perversion for the person who is shame-based. The person who is shamed, instead of hiding, calls attention to himself. He may expose himself in public, in an automobile or by standing in a window. The ADD child may have suffered from a lack of recognition of his real and valid feelings, wants and needs by parents and teaches who expected him to be other than the way he was. The exhibitionist seeks to redress this lack of recognition. He also uses his perversion as a strategy for dealing with shame by displaying what he really wants to hide – himself.

Sadomasochistic fantasies and enactments are common among shame-based people who have difficulty imagining that relationships can include mutual respect, dignity and pride. People who have grown up with shame, like many ADD people, often believe that fulfilling, exciting relationships must be shame-based. Men pay hundreds of dollars to see dominatrixes who physically humiliate them and repeatedly tell them something is wrong with them. The submissive man, fearing abandonment, tries to please the “mistress” by becoming whoever she wants him to be, no matter how humiliating or de-humanizing her demands may be. The reasoning is such: “If anyone saw the real me, they would be revolted. I must please the mistress by being a person she would be proud of.” Pleasing the dominant parental figure is a way on undoing the pain of having a parent that couldn’t be pleased. The S&M enactment thus turns trauma into triumph because the masochistic man succeeds in pleasing his dominant partner.

Self-abuse is a common result of shame. Here, the person who is deeply shamed engages in masochistic behaviors that damage him. Seeking out the services of a dominatrix who may beat, whip and verbally humiliate him is one such way of self-abuse.

The other side of the S&M coin is the desire to humiliate and administer pain to others. Shame is a threat to a person’s basic sense of being. The shamed person feels small weak, vulnerable and exposed. He may find this self-hatred to be unendurable and in order to survive psychologically, he transfers his hatred on to others, treating them with disdain and contempt.

Erotic Adult Lingerie For Women

Often women are so immersed in their outward appearance that they start neglecting what is within. This is the case with many of us women, who are interested in beautifying themselves from the very core, always pay special attention to their choice of under garments. Adult lingerie always had a great role to play in women’s lives.

Adult lingerie comes in a wide variety of sizes and shape. So whether you are a skinny sexy lass or a plus size with alluring curves you can easily choose your adult lingerie from this wide range of sizes. They also offer you to choose from a variety of designs and cuts.

Whereas some stick to your body like a wet swim suit, some may drape around your curves smoothly like a piece of cloth. Some of them are designed especially for special dresses to be worn by you in different occasions. For example you should wear a strapless bra with an off shoulder dress and similarly. Women of today know very well how important it is to match the under wear with your dress.

It is not just the color but also the design and cut of the dress that determine the kind of under wear that should be worn with it in order to look hot and sexy. The wrong underwear can ruin your effort of dressing up completely! So make sure you pick the right adult lingerie when you wear something out of the ordinary.

However, then you wear adult lingerie, you should be able to carry it out with perfect ease and confidence. If you are shy and uncomfortable wearing it, the lingerie alone can not make you the hot babe. But if you have the figure and are proud of it, wearing adult lingerie will only enhance the eroticism within you and nothing in this world can stop your partner from getting excited.

In fact, adult lingerie is one of the most effective tools to arouse excitement in your partner if things have just got stagnated for sometime. Kinky underwear and sexy bras can make him drool and bring back the passion that he had when he met you for the first time.

They can easily spice up your life in a unique way! So if you are one of those people, who still wear the old fashioned, ordinary, trashy undergarments all the time but are really eager to try out something new and exciting, then it is time for you to switch over to adult lingerie. They will not just change the way you look but also the ay you feel at present. They will rekindle the flame of eroticism in your life and help you to reinvent yourself in a very special way!

Online Dating – The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Are Making And Striking Out

Gentlemen, STOP your engines! Take a deep breath and think about it for a second! What was the first thing you learned back in high school. You know, when girls first started looking good to you. When they stopped being ICCKKY! Play it cool. Don’t seem desperate, and in a way make her wonder: Is he interested in me? Which brings us to our number 1 mistake.

1- Whatever you do, don’t come off desperate. 9 out of the 10 emails I get have these dreaded phrases in them “Please” “I’d give anything to….” “Oh my god I can’t believe” “What will it take” Any guy that seems desperate makes a gal wonder. “Hmm.. Why is this lad having such a hard time meeting women? The famous ” I wonder what’s wrong with him” There must be something wrong with him. Oh well, on to the next guy. DON’T COME OFF DESPERATE!! It’s a huge turn off!

Have you ever tried walking up to a girl in a bar, club or even on the street and pulled your pants down? Of course not. You wouldn’t be reading this. You’d be in prison doing 2-4 for indecent exposure. You know what I’m getting at! Some of you have tried this tactic and no matter how big and beautiful it may be, you struck out! Didn’t you!? The famous number 2..

2- Don’t show ‘em your dingaling prematurely. I once posted an ad in the casual encounters section of Craigslist. The things I saw!! The horror! For example “Hi beautiful, if you like what you see, email me.” “Bet you haven’t seen one this big ever in your life” or the famous “Look how excited your picture made me” Now don’t get me wrong, it’s exactly what I was searching for posting in that section. But you see, women are looking for men. We’re interested in meeting YOU not it. If all we wanted was a weewee, we’d buy one at our local adult erotic shop and avoid the headaches. It’s an encounter with someone new we’re looking for. The excitement of the unknown. Make us want it. Don’t just hand it to us on a platter. We want to work for it a little. And don’t forget the obvious fact that with everything we’ve heard on the news, the stories of women getting raped and killed, we’re a little afraid to meet the men that come off as sexual predators. So please, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS UNTIL INSTRUCTED TO DO OTHERWISE!

So you’ve signed up on a random date site. You’ve put in your alias, your gender, and what you’re looking for. And now you avoid filling in the rest. Thinking that your alias “looking4mate72″ says it all and you don’t need to write anything else about yourself. Right? Did it work? No, it didn’t. Of course not. Don’t overlook number 3.

3- Tell us how interesting you are. If there’s nothing interesting about you, how can you get our interest? Make sense? Out of the 400 words you can enter in the field you chose to write “Hello, I’m looking for sex” well good for you, so is everyone else on here but at least they’re making an effort to attract the women. If you can’t think of anything interesting about yourself, chances are we won’t find anything either. These are the guys that go around saying “You know these dating sites are full of it. There’s no women, it’s all a scam. Dating sites are filled with real women dying to meet interesting dudes. There just don’t seem to be enough of them. Be interesting, and if you’re not, make something up! Make some sort of effort. With today’s technology we’ve been spoiled a little. But when it comes to meeting women, you have to spend a little time and energy. That’s the beauty. But if you can’t grasp this, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be able to download some beautiful woman on some torrent site in no time. We’re almost there. In the meantime…! keep…. you know.

Uploading your mug shot will probably not get too much attention from the sane women. You know the ones I’m talking about. No smile. The guy is starring into his webcam. You’re not sure if you’re still at the dating site or you accidentally clicked into the FBI’s most wanted list. A picture says a thousand words, make them good words.. number 4.

4- When it’s time to upload your pictures, don’t just turn on your cam and snap away. These have to be the dullest pictures I see. (I’d rather see their johnson, #2). Upload some real photos. A picture of you with your dog, you with friends, you at the beach. Something interesting! Somewhere you’ve been, something you’ve done. You, staring into your webcam, is not interesting at all. No one is going to sit there and go through 34 pictures you just took with your webcam in the dark. Creepy! You need to show us a side of you that’s going to grab our attention! Attraction is what it’s all about. NO MORE WEBCAM SHOTS!

Last but not least.. You’re going to hate this one I promise. But it’s as important or more important than the first 4… Pick a site you like, and become a member.

5- If you’re not willing to pay a few bucks a month to be a member, chances are I’m picking up the bill at the restaurant, bar, club, hotel or motel. The truth is, women rarely browse profiles of the free members that logged in once or twice. We like a little stability. We want to meet someone who’s been verified by the site. Avoids us a lot of trouble. What you’re telling women is; You’re not cheap, You’re a verified user, It’s safe to come in contact with you, you’re serious about meeting someone and again YOU’RE NOT CHEAP! If you can’t afford the membership, how are you going to meet up with me? Where will we be going? You can continue posting on those free classifieds “Anyone want me to pick her up with my car and go at it?” all you want, but you’ll be spending lots of lonely nights. And if it does work, I don’t want to see the gal that responds to that ad.

In conclusion, meeting women online is not that different from meeting women offline. Always remember that these are the same women you see in your everyday life. The difference is, it’s a lot easier to break the ice. So, why are you not succeeding at making that encounter? Is it because there are no women online? Of course not. There are as many women online as there are men. Avoiding these 5 deadly mistakes will increase your chances dramatically. Take advantage of the fact that most men are making these mistakes. There are plenty of fish in the E-SEA. Just remember to use the right bait. I’m currently on 3 dating sites myself. There are lots of single girls still looking for someone interesting to hook up with. I’m one of them. So please, if you come across me, don’t whip it out in my face, unless I ask you to!

Older posts »